I don’t need sleep. I need answers.
I watched the first three seasons of “Pretty Little Liars” as it was airing. After becoming infuriated at never knowing who A was, I stopped watching because I’m a quitter.
This summer, I started the show over from the very beginning on Netflix, binging as many as 15 episodes in one day. I can’t stop watching it.
Here are some of the thoughts I’ve had during my journey in Rosewood.
1. Who looks that fabulous all the time?
I will be the first to admit that I have taken endless style queues from this show. The costumers are on point 95 percent of the time, except for all of these times. I think this is one of the many things that makes the show an escape. I’ve been to high school. I’ve seen the sweat pants.
2. Don’t wander around in the dark alone!
For the love of all that is good… I can understand being naïve in season one, in the first episode. But it’s season six and they all still think it’s a good idea to wander around the woods alone.
3. I love Hanna and her never ending sass.
I love that no matter what’s happening in Rosewood, Hanna is always up for being sarcastic. That’s what makes us kindred spirits. I also love that her main excuse for getting out of unfavorable situations is, “I have to pee.”
4. Spencer is the bossiest person in the world. We could not be friends.
She literally thinks she knows everything. She admits this on numerous occasions, mostly after she’s been wrong in a major way. Like that one time when she thought Toby killed Alison…
5. Stop kissing people you aren’t dating!
This is the oldest rule in the book, even for those of us who aren’t being blackmailed by a psycho. It’s going to come around to bite you like it did Spencer.
6. Take a freaking picture of the evidence when you find it!
I have screamed this at the TV since day one. Of course, it’s not going to be there when you get back. What do you think this is, a children’s show? You can’t just scream, “Swiper no swiping” and expect the bloody murder weapon to still be there when you get back.
7. Why are you lying to each other still? More importantly, why are any of you surprised when the other one lies?
Aren’t all of you supposed to be in this together? Isn’t that what you say incessantly to your families, significant others and the police? Stop lying to each other — you’ve all done so many stupid things, you can at least own up to each other.
8. You guys wear heels every moment of your lives.
9. No, but seriously, I LOVE Hanna.
Who else do you know could go from wearing multicolored neon outfits, to being flawlessly grunge? She has it all, folks.
10. Just TELL someone already!
After six seasons of blackmail and essentially, torture, you’d figure enough would be enough for these girls. But no — and however sick and twisted it may sound, I’m kind of thankful for it.
11. I would’ve had eight ulcers by now.
I know Emily had that one ulcer back in season one, but no one else has had any anxiety-related illnesses (if you don’t count Spencer’s bout in Radley) since then. These girls must all have a resting heart rate of 125.
12. There is a surprising lack of slapping in this show.
Anytime anyone says anything even relatively mean or sassy, I expect there to be a slap. I mean, come on, this show is about a bunch of high school girls. Slapping is pretty par for the course at that age.
13. Remember all those times they thought about going to the police?
Those were nice dreams, weren’t they?
14. All of their boyfriends are so supportive!
I purposefully said boyfriends because Emily can’t find a significant other to save her life. Every single one of the guys they are dating has been there since season one, regardless of how many times they’ve broken up. In real life, taking too long to get ready in the morning can make a girl “too complicated.”
15. Why does Toby’s hair look ridiculous for 86 percent of the show?
But really, in season one he looked like Lois Griffin. Season four just looked like he painted a football helmet brown and stuck it on. Part of season five he looked like a much greasier version of Shawn Hunter from “Boy Meets World.”
16. Trust no one.
Even our most beloved characters (ahem… Ezra) have betrayed our trust. I don’t even trust the four Liars anymore. No one is to be trusted. Except Tippy the bird.
17. A lot of these problems could be resolved by open communication.
But I digress.
18. I literally don’t even care who A is anymore.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me during an entire television series and I’m going to lose my mind.
Regardless of how infuriating this show can be, there is truly nothing like it. “Pretty Little Liars” is one of the best shows out there.
This blog appeared on theodysseonline.com.