The things college students do are so far away from normal.
The school year has just started and I have just realized something.
College students are their own brand of weird.
I mean it. We walk around doing things that no one else would dare. Sometimes those things are gross, sometimes they reek of desperation, sometimes they’re just because we’re exhausted. Whatever the cause is, it still happens. Here are some of my favorite college student social norms.
1. Not answering when someone asks you a question.
For real you guys. When the teacher asks us a question and we just sit there and stare at her, that’s so rude. Like, you would never do that during a conversation. You would be the biggest weirdo that has ever lived.
2. Drinking three cups of coffee between the hours of 10 p.m. and 2 a.m.
To be clear, I am in no way against this. In fact, I have done it on innumerable occasions. I’m just saying that the average person drinks coffee only in the morning. They don’t drink it at every meal and for a snack and before bedtime. What is wrong with us?
3. Spending massive amounts of time in bed.
When you live in a dorm room, that room becomes your house. Your bed is the center of that. It doesn’t even have to be spent sleeping. Sometimes the only place you have to sit is your bed. It becomes your desk, your dining room table, your yoga studio.
4. Wearing pajamas in public.
You didn’t even wear pajamas to school in high school. Why did we all get a little older and then decide we could wear flannel pants and holey t-shirts to class? In any other aspect of life, you don’t wear anything but your best.
5. Midnight trips to Wal-Mart.
I am trying to imagine myself as a 33-year-old woman with a husband and kid(s), staying up until midnight, only to say to myself, “man, I could really use some ice cream… right now,” and then driving to the store. It will never happen.
6. Sleeping pretty much anywhere
Benches, study nooks, tables, underneath tables, floors, you name it. If it’s flat, a college student has probably nestled up and slept for a few hours there. We will sleep anywhere, as long as it’s cozy.
7. The food we eat.
Bread is not a vegetable you guys. It’s time to diversify our food choices from the usual pizza and ramen that we consume on a daily basis. Cupcakes are not an acceptable dessert option for everyday consumption. Eat a vegetable.
See? We are a different species. We can live (even thrive) under conditions that no one else could. We barely sleep, we eat nothing but garbage and we drink more caffeine than the average human should. I guess that’s the way we like it… or maybe we’re just too stuck in our ways to change.
This blog appeared on theodysseyonline.com.